INTERNET SLUTTS LOG LINES, BROADCAST ORDER AND DATES as of June 8, 2000   1. Wally's Narcissus written & directed by Brian Stockton Wally falls madly in love with himself, and to cure him Murk takes him to the more narcissistic sites on the web. (We check out on-line plastic surgery and dozens of hi-tech masturbation devices.) April 21 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   2. Wally's Sick Show written & directed by Steven Westren Wally is feeling under the weather, so he and Murk try to diagnose and cure his ailment using self-help web sites and Viagra. (Some of the sites visited include one devoted to xrays of things people have gone to emergency rooms with stuck in their behinds, and another featuring celebrities with strange skin ailments.) April 28 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   3. This is Your Brain on the Internet written & directed by Steven Westren Out of beer, Murk and Wally try to get 'drunk' on oddball websites. (Lowlights include sites where you can build a virtual cow; buy a product that allows sports fans to pee down their legs into a bag; and see stuff that's been yanked out of people's colons.) May 5 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   4. Solving the Mystery of Women written & directed by Steven Westren Wally and Murk, constantly confounded by their failure to get laid , foolishly look to the Internet in search of what it is that women really want. (Highlights include a site devoted to the art of peeing standing up and a women's magazine that promotes "the art of making your man behave using the secrets of professional dog trainers.") May 12 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   5. Murk's New Thing written by Steven Westren, directed by John Gundy. Murk realizes he's not as hip as he once was, and looks to the Internet to catch up on cool ways to mutilate his body. (Among the many bizarre possibilities, we get a look at "possibly the least seen piercing in the world," and a selection of branded human flesh.) May 26 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   6. Murk's Cash Crisis written & directed by Steven Westren Tired of being dirt-poor, Murk tries to strike it rich via the various money scams on the Internet. (We discover there's cash to be made by appearing in tickling videos, and selling sperm is more complicated than it looks.) June 2 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   7. The Fetish Show written by Steven Westren, directed by John Gundy When Murk's new girlfriend surprises him with a bizarre sexual act, he and Wally go in search of fetish sites so they can get clued-in. (Some of the more unexpected fetishes include bursting balloons, and men who enjoy wearing diapers.) June 9 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   8. Wally's New Hobby written by Steven Westren, directed by John Gundy After getting beaten up at a rave, Wally decides it's time to take up a quiet hobby. (Wally investigates several possibilities, including trepanning - drilling holes in one's own head - and collecting human bones.) June 16 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   9. Wally's Muddled Muse written & directed by Steven Westren Wally tries to get in touch with his creative side by exploring bizarre performance-art sites on the web. (A favorite site features photos of naked people with bags over their heads in some sort of oddball artistic statement.) June 23 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   10. Wally's Sex Tour written & directed by Steven Westren A sexually 'emancipated' Wally looks to the 'net to book a sex tour. (Highlights: an adult film star jamboree and a website promoting a tour of Chinese drive-through brothels.) June 30 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   11. Murk's Reeducation written by Steven Westren, directed by John Gundy Murk's parole officer won't date him unless he completes his grade 10 (missed when he was drafted by a pro snowboarding league.) Wally shows him how to get an entire year's worth of education in one night via the 'net. (More intriguing sites include an on-line virtual frog dissection and a collection of 1940s dirty American postcards.) July 7 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   12. Death Takes a Deductible Junket written & directed by Brian Stockton Wally is convinced he's contracted a fatal disease and Murk indulges him by taking him to web sites where he can write his will and otherwise prepare him for his demise. (Murk is most impressed by the visible man project - images of a body thinly sliced into more than 1800 entertaining pieces.) NOT THIS RUN The Comedy Network   13. Amurkan Gigolo written & directed by Steven Westren Murk embarks on a career as a gigolo. (Thanks to the web, Murk discovers there's a 'secret art to thrusting,' and stocks up on some discounted sex toys.) July 14 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   14. Murk's Paranoia written & directed by Steven Westren Murk is convinced he's been abducted by aliens and looks to the Internet for support from other whackos. (See actual photos of a space-ship abducting a cow!) July 21 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   15. WallyFest written & directed by Steven Westren Wally surfs the net looking for a significant 'event' to attend. (Options run the gamut from the Naked Mile Run at the University of Michigan to the biker rally in Sturgis, SD.) July 28 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   16. If You Were Murk, Could You Live With Yourself? written & directed by Brian Stockton Wally, upset with Murk's childish behaviour in life and surfing, bets Murk he can't live with himself. Murk's 'self' shows up and all hell breaks loose. (Undue attention is given to sites that will buy your hair, and others devoted to photos of roadkill.) August 4 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   17. MurkCam written by Steven Westren, directed by Brian Stockton After surfing to one too many web-cams, Murk decides a wacky web-cam is his ticket to fame and fortune. (They visit web-cams of a litter box, a coffee maker and a hamster cage, among others.) August 18 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network   18. A Clockwork Wally written & directed by Brian Stockton In an attempt to help Wally kick his caffeine habit, Murk builds a contraption to keep Wally's eyes open while forcing him to surf the Internet. (Included is The Simulator, a site which recreates the screamingly dull working day of a fast food restaurant worker.) August 25 11:30 pm. et/pt The Comedy Network