Murk is explaining why he'd been arrested:
WALLY
How come you never mentioned
to me that you were going to
court? I would have made a great
character witness.
MURK
That's exactly why I didn't
mention it. And anyway, it wasn't
just me they nabbed. It was the
whole bunch of us.
WALLY
And what exactly had this 'whole
bunch' of you done?
MURK
You know the Courier Olympics
we hold in a different town every
year? The traditional naked ride
down the main drag at midnight?
Well, this time the cops were waitin'
for us and hauled us all in. I told
everybody we never shoulda awarded
this year's bid to Vatican City.
But anyway, we all got suspended
sentences...
----------
Murk has just explained that Ms Standish was
trying to decide between doing Murk or a guy who'd dissolved
his family in home made acid. Wally remarks that it takes at
least grade ten chemistry to have pulled that one off.
MURK
Yeah, well if he's so smart, how
come he got caught?
WALLY
I suppose because the 'How to elude
forensic detection' course was an
elective that year.
----------
This is dialogue for the Cat site we couldn't
get:
There's a big title DIGITAL CAT DISSECTION.
Wally heads over.
WALLY
Digital cat dissection!?
MURK
Not a real cat - see, it's a
digital cat.
WALLY
(reading)
"The felines that the school
receives are top quality straight
from Mexico."
(then)
Somehow I don't think these cats
survived the digitizing process.
MURK
Crap! You mean they're real cats!?
WALLY
Sure sounds like it:
(reading)
"Dissection begins with skinning
the cats..."
(then)
Of which there's more than one way,
apparently.
MURK
Geez... I can't be a party to
cat skinning!! Here, I'll go to
a frog site. Frogs are simple and
stupid and don't even know they're
frogs until it's too late.
--------
After realizing the frog is pretty complicated,
Murk goes to a worm dissection site. This is the one we wanted
to use:
www.selma.bsu.edu/sms/science/worm.htm loads
in.
There are thumbnails and very sparse text.
WALLY
(reading)
"Mister Palmer prepares the class
for dissection..."
(then)
Sorry, there seems to be some
confusion. I thought he was going
to be dissecting a worm, not his
students.
They enlarge the photo of Mr. Palmer:
www.selma.bsu.edu/sms/science/worming2.gif
MURK
Nice to see Hannibal Lecter
finally settled down and got
himself an honest job.
They go back to the thumbnail page.
WALLY
"The worm awaits being dissected."
He looks like he's waiting, but
he's actually at this moment
carefully plotting his escape...
MURK
"Cutting the earthworm." Okay.
Looks simple enough.
WALLY
At least you don't have to skin him.
MURK
"The cutting is complete. Look
inside the earthworm." That's it?
They enlarge the photo. www.carr.org/schs/science/worming5.gif
WALLY
Pretty much what I expected to see.
MURK
Me, too. Cool! So I'm done?
WALLY
Yup. Because you picked the
easiest route. The worm is to
the cat what the multiple choice
question is to the essay. Always
chose the path of least resistance.
MURK
Wow. Doin' this school stuff with
you is like hangin' out with Yoda.
--------
WALLY'S at the computer. MURK's exiting the
bathroom.
MURK
Yup, it's true what they say.
You don't buy beer,you just
drink it and let it pass through
your gastrointestinal system
until the alcohol is absorbed
into the blood stream and the
water component is excreted.
(then)
No, wait a second, it was punchier
than that when I heard it in
the bar... how did it go again...?
-----------
