This site wouldn't give us permission:
www.thenakedmile.com
There's a photo of a rather plain, bespectacled
lass wearing nothing but a backpack and holding a sign,
WALLY
"Nude not lewd?"
MURK
Every April, at the end of the
school year, hundreds of students
from the University of Michigan
run buck naked through the streets...
and then bitch about people taking
pictures of them.
WALLY
You would think people would
respect their privacy. Errr, so
there are pictures of this event?
www.thenakedmile.com/gallery1999/index.ssf?/gallery1999/stories/1999_02.frm
(a couple in white face)
WALLY (CONT'D)
I don't think I've ever seen
naked mimes before...
MURK
Would make doin' the old 'stuck
in the box' bit a lot more
entertaining.
www.thenakedmile.com/gallery1999/index.ssf?/gallery1999/stories/1999_03.frm
(a naked lady with strategically placed butterflies covering
her naughty bits)
WALLY
Intriguing...so the butterflies'
annual return from wintering in
Argentina coincides with this event,
does it.
MURK
Those bugs are smarter than they look.
www.thenakedmile.com/gallery1999/index.ssf?/gallery1999/stories/1999_04.frm
(a guy in a civil war hat and beard, another in a Cat in the
Hat type hat)
WALLY
Ahhh, I love those civil war
re-enactments. What battle was
this, the Nerd versus the Seuss?
MURK
Wow. I didn't get that, but I
could still tell it sucked big time.
WALLY
Sorry.
www.thenakedmile.com/gallery1999/index.ssf?/gallery1999/stories/1999_09.frm
(a guy in a mariachi hat with a little cartoon of a watermelon
obscuring his willy)
MURK
I don't care if it was a small
watermelon they used to mask his
dick - that's still damned impressive.
WALLY
Imagine what they would have needed
if it hadn't been so cold when they
took the picture.
www.thenakedmile.com/gallery1999/index.ssf?/gallery1999/stories/1999_12.frm
(4 naked folks from behind)
WALLY (CONT'D)
Ahhh, here they are posing for
their graduation photos. Remember,
fellahs, now that you've received
your degree, the penis gets flipped
over to the other side of the mortar
board!
www.thenakedmile.com/gallery1999/index.ssf?/gallery1999/stories/1999_16.frm
(naked girl with water pistol)
MURK
So you run down the road with
your chacha hangin' out, and then
blast guys for wantin' to take
a snapshot. That's like, entrapment!
WALLY
It does seem rather prickly.
-----
This site also refused:
MURK
How 'bout this - Nudestock.
WALLY
Nudestock.
http://25th.com/cedarcreek/nudestck.htm
(A page with a banner reading NUDESTOCK and
a photo of lots of old bare bums dancing loads in.)
MURK
The premiere music festival for
nudists.
WALLY
So why is their mascot a dancing
alligator dressed in blue jeans?
Is wearing clothes the animal
world's version of being naked?
MURK
I don't think we even need to
try to answer that question.
Based on the bagginess of these
butts, you don't want to hang with
this crowd.
WALLY
Yes, I think I'd like to avoid the
nudist thing all-together. They're
just all too damned wholesome.
MURK
So you want dirty nude.
WALLY
Precisely.
MURK
Geez, you're as choosey as a chick
buying shoes.
WALLY
It's my vacation.
-----
This site said no way:
www.masqevent.com/indexa.html
MURK
It's some dirty ball thing held
in the Poconos. They got theme
rooms and everything.
WALLY
(off photo)
And bad circus acts, too.
(off other photo)
But Roseanne's a fan, evidently.
MURK
Look, the weekend has a fetish
bazaar.
www.masqevent.com/fetish.htm
(photo of a guy posing in hotel room)
WALLY
Hey, it's father Guido Sarducci.
MURK
Who?
WALLY
You don't know who father Guido
Sarducci is?
MURK
No.
WALLY
Oh. Errr... then... it's... uhhh...
some strange guy in black leiderhosen
who probably likes to be spanked.
MURK
Heyyy, so it is. Good one.
www.masqevent.com/slave.htm
(a male slave and a female slave)
MURK (CONT'D)
Wow, a slave auction. I know
some chicks who'd love to have
that guy as a slave for a day.
WALLY
To do what? Open jars?
MURK
And move furniture, too.
WALLY
I'm not sure I'd want to bid on
a blindfolded slave.
MURK
Yeah, they wouldn't be able to
run errands for you or anything.
they'd always be bumping into
shit and... hey... wait a second...
unless the deal is you're supposed
to have sex with them. Rrrrr.
WALLY
Ooohhh... maybe I should volunteer
to be auctioned off.
MURK
Yeah, right. Make sure you've
got change for a dollar.
WALLY
(a look, then)
Interesting - they've got seminars,
too.
www.masqevent.com/seminars
(a photo of 4 women in dom outfits, one's holding her hand over
a kneeling guy's mouth.)
MURK
Hey - I had to take that seminar.
WALLY
You did?
MURK
Yeah, that summer I was a messenger
for Martha Stewart's company?
Back to main page.
MURK (CONT'D)
So... pretty funky event, huh.
---------------------------------------------
