The guys are at the barf bags site:
MURK
Okay, at least let me show you
this part of his site. It says,
"Ironically, one, I've never been
outside of North America. Two, I'm
single."
WALLY
Ahhh... that explains the glaring
absence of 'sexual activity sickness
bags' in his collection.
MURK
Frankly, I'm a bit surprised a
guy like this hasn't been snapped
up by some hot chick.
WALLY
Yes, one with Bulimia, maybe.
(then)
Can we move on now?
---------------
The guys are at the bone site:
WALLY
"Be sure to let us know of your
special requests, as bones are as
individual as you are."
Hmmm, special request... Okay, I'd
like Neve Campbell's hamate bone.
---------------
While checking out the Cinepad site:
WALLY
This fellah, who's quite the
cineaste---
MURK
Quite the what?
WALLY
Cineaste. Cinephile.
MURK
...he's into Asian chicks?
WALLY
He likes film, Murk. Cinema.
MURK
Cinema - you mean, movies without
any kind of plot or explosions or
anything.
WALLY
Perhaps, but they make up for it
with plenty of utterly gratuitous
nudity.
MURK
Yeah... but then the subtitles
cover up the good bits.
-------------------
This is a segment that was shot but never
used, for obvious reasons...
www.treeclimbing.com
WALLY
"Everything in the world about
tree climbing"?
MURK
Whattaya think?
WALLY
Tree climbing? Why would I want
to go tree climbing?
MURK
I don't know... but it must be
pretty hot stuff, 'cause look:
(reading)
"Privacy announcement. Personal
data collected by Tree Climbers
International Inc. remains
confidential and will not be
disclosed without prior notification."
WALLY
And?
MURK
So they must be up to something
racy if people want their privacy
protected! And look - "Coming soon,
online live video of treeclimbing"!
Whooo baybee!
WALLY
I think you're a bit confused
about the content of this site,
Murk. It's about climbing trees.
MURK
Nudge nudge, wink wink.
WALLY
See? Recreational tree climbing,
tree care, tree gear, cat rescue...
tree stuff.
MURK
That's just a cover. Check the
index.
www.treeclimbing.com/siteindex.htm
WALLY (CONT'D)
More tree stuff. Intriguing...
they have a mission statement,
and a section on ethics... ethics?
MURK
Maybe it's stuff, like, should
married treeclimbers have sex
with other married treeclimbers?
WALLY
Yes... I'm sure that's what it is.
Oh, I like this question. "How
does tree climbing affect imbalanced
people?"
(then, gesturing at Murk)
Well... it certainly got the
attention of this one here.
MURK
Hey, I know the answer to this
question!
WALLY
"What's it like to sleep in a tree?"
Why on earth would you know that?
MURK
Have you tried to get a motel room
in Florida during spring break?
(then)
Geez there's a lot of stuff about
tress in here. I guess it really
is about tree climbing. Not your bag?
WALLY
No. Not even close. Here, let me
take another crack at this, since
you obviously haven't a clue as to
what I might find compelling enough
to give my precious spare time!
MURK
Wait - I just thought of something
that'd be perfect for you! Damn
this hole in the head works good!
(he taps his head, then looks
at his hand)
...should I be oozing this much?
WALLY
What this time? A Hopscotch site?
The International association
of Tag players home page? Leap-
frogging dot com?
MURK
Nooo. ...although the last one
got closer than I would have liked.
?
MURK
Maybe it's stuff, like, should
married treeclimbers have sex
with other married treeclimbers?
WALLY
Yes... I'm sure that's what it is.
Oh, I like this question. "How
does tree climbing affect imbalanced
people?"
(then, gesturing at Murk)
Well... it certainly got the
attention of this one here.
MURK
Hey, I know the answer to this
question!
WALLY
"What's it like to sleep in a tree?"
Why on earth would you know that?
MURK
Have you tried to get a motel room
in Florida during spring break?
(then)
Geez there's a lot of stuff about
tress in here. I guess it really
is about tree climbing. Not your bag?
WALLY
No. Not even close. Here, let me
take another crack at this, since
you obviously haven't a clue as to
what I might find compelling enough
to give my precious spare time!
MURK
Wait - I just thought of something
that'd be perfect for you! Damn
this hole in the head works good!
(he taps his head, then looks
at his hand)
...should I be oozing this much?
WALLY
What this time? A Hopscotch site?
The International association
of Tag players home page? Leap-
frogging dot com?
MURK
Nooo. ...although the last one
got closer than I would have liked.
