July, 2000
May - June, 2001 - Jan
- Feb, 2001 -
Dec, 2000 - Nov, 2000
- Oct, 2000 - Sept,
2000 - Aug 2000 - July
2000 - June 2000 - May,
2000 - April, 2000
Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2000
From: Bruce Drake
Subject: GENERAL SLUTTINESS
To: murk Internetslutt
Hey guys (wally and murk),
let me first say that I love the show internet slutts,
it is kick bottom, and I would rather watch you two
than watch mike bullard, but I won't get into that.
Secondly, murk: whats the deal with your eyes? one is
bigger than the other! why?
Thirdly, wally, how many scars do you have, and what
are the scources?...
Well, that's it, keep up the good work on the show, I
hope you have a long successful run (more than a
couple of months), because you guys are the hidden gem
of the comedy network... they repeat OM/MB too often
and Slutts not enough... YOU TWO ARE THE BEST!
B.M. Drake
Murk replies,
I'm not completely sure about the eye
thing, but I think it had
something to do with a hard birth and a pair of forceps.
Wally replies,
Nonsense. He's obviously got some kind
of enormous drug-induced brain
tumor growing behind his right eye. But enough about Murk. I
have a few very
discrete but intriguing scars. One fairly large one from my circumcision
and a couple of fainter but no less harrowing souvenirs from
shaving
mishaps. I also have that spot where a pesky skin-tag was fritzed
off
with liquid nitrogen, plus there's that---
Steve interrupts,
Thanks Wally.
To: murk@wallyandmurk.com
Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000
From: Ziggy Ziggs
Subject: WWWAAAAZZZAAAPPPPP?!?!?!!?
yO, WWWWAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I love the show! It's so funny! ...can ya hit me back and tell
which
site it was for the piercing.
Thanx,...............................PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Steve replies,
It was www.perforations.com - you can
find a direct link to it and the
other sites from "Murk's New Thing" in the links section.
Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 21:50:57 -0300
From: mdawe
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: suggested site
Hey I love your guys show it has a balance of sophisticated humour
and
low brow antics.... where do you shoot from, location I mean.
Wally replies,
I'm glad you clarified your question...
I thought you were getting a wee
bit too personal there for a moment. The series is shot in Toronto,
where a fellah like me can fit in very nicely.
From: Al Neraasen
To: <wally@wallyandmurk.com>
Subject: i have a suggestion
Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 01:43:24 -0600
Your show kicks ass, I just finished watching it, I've seen just
about all the shows... you're all geniuses!
jason
Wally replies,
Thank you, but frankly the rest of this
miserable bunch would be nothing
without me.
From: Mike King
To: <wally@wallyandmurk.com>
Subject: Love the music
Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 02:33:22 -0400
I love the opening theme. Is it going to be available on MP3?
Also,
What is Wally? Is he a potato or a dick? I don't see a ring around
his
collar, so I'm open to debate.
Thanks, I love the show.
Steve replies,
Due to some complicated union things
we can't make Brett Bell's theme
availabe just yet - but I hear Metallica just did a cover version
which
can now be downloaded for free from several of those non-Napster
sites.
As for Wally... He's a penis, more or
less. But heck, if he works
better as a potato for you, then go for it.
From: "harpjack13"
To: <wally@wallyandmurk.com>
Subject: You boys just ain't right!!
Date: Fri, 28 Jul 2000 21:50:14 -0400
Hey Ma! Looky here! It's dem two fellers what got a TV show.
The pecker an' the stick guy thing! They sure is funny, Ma!!
Yeah. Ma? What's a
inner net? A-yuh!!
Wally replies,
Thank you for your kind homage to my
stirring rendition of a
pee-drinking hillbilly in "Murk's Paranoia." I trust
I can count on your support come
Gemini nomination time?
Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 20:07:33 -0500
From: Jman me
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: Kick@$$ show!
Hi, I think your show is really cool, I watch it alot! Well,
a fair bit,
actually I watch it only sometimes. Ok Ok... I just got the gist
of it
from the commercial. I'll be sure to watch next time it comes
on, maybe.
Oh well good luck anyways...
-A concerned viewer, Winnipeg Manitoba
Steve replies,
Not exactly the kind of ringing endorsement
we'd like to receive, but
heck, we hadn't gotten any mail for a coupla days.
From: Joshua Hobin
To: <murk@wallyandmurk.com>
Subject: THE SEMEN!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 17:11:05 -0400
I want to get my girlfriend pregnant and I want it to have
gills. I was
just wondering if Jar 5 of Murk's semen is still available to
purchase....
Thank You For Your Time,
Joshua Hobin
Calgary Alberta Canada
Steve replies,
Murk reports that all five of his samples
have been snapped up by an
eccentric artist who's been experimenting with a new type of
egg tempera
painting. He does promise to get to work on another batch as
soon as
he's completed his current round of antibiotics... (made necessary
by a wee bit
of poor judgement at the most recent edgefest.)
From: Randy Young
To: <murk@wallyandmurk.com>
Subject: Cool site for Woman that want MORE!!!!!
Date: Sat, 22 Jul 2000 19:10:40 -0600
Hi Guys: Great show. What a hoot. I think it is one of the
best
shows on right now. My major thumbs up to ya all. A True Fan,
Randy Young
From: stephen nelson
To: <wally@wallyandmurk.com>
Subject: Three BIGGEST Fans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Fri, 21 Jul 2000 22:54:34 -0300
A) Hi Wally! My name is Terri-Lynn Taylor from Fredericton
New
Brunswick. When my friends told me about a show featuring a big
pecker
and some other fucked up creature (Murk) I thought they were
insane until I
saw the show for my self. Talk about FUCKED up! But it's warped
minds
like mine that make your show a hit. You guys rule!!!!!! I think
introducing
new characters into the show would be AWESOME! But anyways I
should go
for now your show comes on in two hours and I'm fucking excited!!!!
I
can only dream that one day I will find a 2 foot penis of my
own...but until
then I,ll have to settle for my man and watching your show. But
PLEASE
for my sake, tell him your secret as to how you got so lucky!!!!
Until
then I'll have sweet dreams of Wally the BIG, VERY BIG, penis!
I LOVE
YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
B) Hey Guys!! How's it going?? Terri-Lynn's man here. I would
just
like to know how to get a 2 foot penis so I can make her happy...
C) Hey you big TWO FOOT PENIS and STICK BOY!!! (Wally and
Murk)
I'm a religiously fanatic of your show and would love to make
a few
comments... I love what you guys do on the net!!! You guys are
the
perfect duo of "fucked-upticity" that I've ever seen
in my life!!! I love the
ends of the episodes where you guys make absolute idiots of yourselves
and I piss myself laughing everytime!! I loved the episode where
you,
(Wally) threw up white stuff in which looked like.....well, you
know!! My
girlfriend and I still laugh at it all the time!!! We also talk
to all
of our dear friends and tell them about your show and how much
we love
it!!! You're highly recommended here in New Brunswick!!! Keep
your shows as
weird and as fucked up like always!!! AND FOR GOD'S SAKE WALLY....NEVER
"VOLUNTARILY" CATCH YOURSELF A COLD!!! If you do, use
a cork for your
nostrils!!! I still love that show though!!! Signed your biggest
fan,
Tyler Pead
Wally replies,
The perfect duo of "fucked-upticity"?...
get my agent on the phone, my
price just went through the roof!
Date: Sat, 22 Jul 2000 03:40:05 -0600
From: Fused
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: Uh Oh ... !
Great consistency with the screenshots of "Spy Gadgets"
webpages after
Wally comes back with the single roll of foil and Murk tells
him the
webpage is still open. The telltale date & time is stuck
up in the upper
right corner. Usually you're a bit more zoomed in and focused
on a
specific portion of a website and thus the whole screen is not
shown and this
isn't as apparent.
First image is "Tue 1:10 AM", next is "Wed
11:17 AM", next is "Wed 11:19
AM", "Wed 11:50 AM", then backwards to "Wed
11:12 AM", then what appears
to be a change to a larger screen resolution and what looks to
be "Tue 12:27
PM", all in the span of 18 seconds. Thats some pretty nifty
time
traveling.
Granted most people will have that portion of the image cut
off on their
TV's and never notice it, but you should realize there's us fanatics
out
here with computers that freeze frame everything in sight. :)
Steve replies,
I'm surprised it took this long for
someone to point out our curious
massaging of the time-space continuum. During editing we'd often
decide
we needed some new shots, gather them in a desultory, haphazard
way over the
course of the week, and then plunk them on the screen in any
old order
that pleased us. What surprises me even more, though, is that
no-one has
asked: what the hell are they typing away for when they want
to click on
something!? Who the hell surfs like that!?
Date: Fri, 21 Jul 2000 22:35:38 -0700
From: Mary Sennwald
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: OH MY GOD!
How UTTERLY FANTASTIC! please.. PLEASE PLEASE!!!! Start marketing
tapes!!! You guys are Canadian??? WOW! I have never, ever in
my life,
seen anything so funny! I saw my first episode tonight, about
Murk
being abducted by Aliens.. AMAZING! LOL It was so good.. I watched
the whole thing.. and gave up the opportunity for cyber sex!
hehehehe..
Seriously.. when is Wally going to have cyber sex? Or.. has he?
and if
so, what's his ICQ number! I WANT him! You guys are terrific!
Please..
add me to your mailing list! I want to be first on my block..
to have
my own stuffed penis! Makes me proud to be Canadian! Please let
me
know as soon as I can buy tapes.. ok?
Stormy
Wally replies,
My most recent cyber sex experience
was with AliceBot. She's a tad
frosty, yes, but once you get her to loosen up and talk dirty...
ooooh, hubba
hubba.
Steve replies,
It will be a while before we can offer
tapes, because the Comedy Network
gets to air each episode 6 times. So, until then, it's fire up
the VCRs.
The Wally and Murk plush toys, though, we're working on it...
To: murk@wallyandmurk.com
From: *~JeSsIcA~*
Subject: Hey you!
Hey Murk!
Well, I saw your site and would very much like to buy a jar
of your
semen. Does it come in a jumbo size? *LOL* Just kidding.
Also, I was wondering what exactly, ARE you anyway?
I've thought, but can't seem to figure it out!!!!!
Are you a penis, like Wally? Or just a creation of your own?
Please
write back and answer my questions that I've been dying to know!!!
Well, I'll talk to you later!! And I'll continue to watch your
show!!!
- Jessica
and mrs. poopypants (i.e.) her friend Sarah who hasn't got a
brain and
requested the jumbo!
Wally replies,
Allow me to clear this up once and for
all. Murk is some kind of genetic
freak. The mutant offspring of DNA corrupted bicycle couriers.
He's a
dithering, drug abusing, caffine guzzling imbecile who is inexplicably
irresistible to women. When you all come to your senses and realize
what
you really want and need is a real man, drop me a line.
Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 14:40:30 -0700
From: Aaron Dubois
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: hi
I am thinking of suing you guys.
I didn't see any warnings posted prior to your shows.
I happened to flick to the comedy network as your show was
just
starting. It was the episode where Murk wants to be a man whore,
he has
a dream where his penis is too small. When the lady asks him
who the hell
he though he was going to pleasure with that thing he replies
"me." I
just about died. Three days later I am still chuckling.........
Keep the
show rocking....
I hear that Fox has a time slot after the Simpsons on Sunday..
Cheers,
Aaron
Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 21:15:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: Calbretto
Subject: good work you twisted pricks
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Hey Wally, Murk and the guys that have their arms up your asses,
First, I want to say that your show kicks arse. I have my
VCR
set to tape it every week, so I never miss an episode.
I love checking out all the sites you've visited during the show
later it's aired.
Yes, I have no life.
Eveyone is talking about dolls and action figures...
I think you guys should have Todd McFarlane make them!
He'll make toys of anything! Have you seen those Bob and Doug
McKenzie figures?
Who knows, maybe the orders will get screwed up and we'll find
Wally and Murk on the shelves of Wal-Mart and Toys R Us,
where innocent little kids will bring them home and get beaten
by
their parents for wasting their money on disgusting crap.
By the way, is there any chance of any more puppets getting
added to the show?
Wally and Murk can't be the only two in the entire Internet Slutts
world.
Well, keep up the good work.
Calbretto
Steve replies,
If we get to do another season we'd
love to add another character or two.
Puppets are really expensive to make, however (or so puppet builders
claim), so we might resort to just sticking a moustache on Wally
and
pretending he's someone else.
Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 20:41:43 -0600
From: Fused
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: Re-runs
First off, kickass show, I'd say more but it's already been
said. I watch
it religiously every week. Yet somehow there was some sort of
twist in
the space/time continuum, and somehow I skipped from Thursday
to Saturday ...
So I missed the episode that was supposed to be on last night!
As far as
I know, it never aired! :)
Any idea when TCN will start airing re-runs ... It's the only
episode
I've missed so far!
Also consider offering DVD's full of episodes! That would
be cool ... I'd
buy that, I wouldn't buy tapes though ... :)
ps. If you've ever seen them Southpark squeezable thingies
that you can
get on comedycentral.com, those would make great Wally &
Murk figures ... :)
Well Wally anyways, not sure about Murk ...
Steve replies,
We haven't been told yet when the show
will go into repeats. The Network
is afraid that if we know too much we'll become giddy with power.
From: Anna Thompson
To: <wally@wallyandmurk.com>
Subject: Hello
Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 00:05:46 -0400
What can I say about Wally? He is the closest thing a man can
get to
being perfect! Is he seeing anyone? Keep up the good work guys!!
Anna
Steve replies,
Wally reports that his current status
is still 'single -available.'
In the interest of full disclosure, he confesses that the only
thing keeping him
from being The Perfect Man is his inability to open jars, and
a fear of
really big bugs.
Date: Thu, 13 Jul 2000 21:02:11 -0600
From: Peter Seskus
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: Peniale warts... backyard wrestling...
give wally penile warts...
from: Peter Seskus, Jon Purschke, Colin Dubreuil...
Steve replies,
I guarantee it, the producers of "Traders"
never got mail like this.
Wally replies,
Penile Warts! The stuff of amateurs!
If you want to see a real
performance, ask my character to limn a urethral swabbing - it
will be my
Hamlet, damn you all.
Murk replies,
You have to forgive Wally. He's been
doing summer stock in Heathcote and
he's a little raw right now.
Subject: Good stuff!
Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 22:13:18 -0400 (EDT)
From: Evan Leibovitch
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
You'll have no problem selling this to the Brits -- does anyone
remember
"Spitting Image"?
Anyway, best of luck peddling this wherever you can. Be sure
to let me
know when the vibrating Wally action toy comes out.
Two questions:
1) Until you sell a censored version somewhere in the States,
is there
any way my American friends can see the Slutts? I mean, is there
some
satellite technobabble I can give someone so they can point their
dish
somewhere Friday night and W&M show up on their screens?
2) People I know who use Linux boxes get funny smelling smoke
out the
backs of the screens trying to look at your video clips. Any
chance you
can do them in a format everyone can view?
Anyway, keep up the good stuff!
John replies,
Steve has gone fishing. He will answer
your questions next week.
Steve replies,
We asked the Network guys about the
Satellite dish thing, and they were
understandably a bit evasive - given that the Comedy Network
is a pay
channel. However, we've got some industrial moles hard at work
trying to
ferret out an answer. As for your second question... don't look
at me.
All I know from computers is how to use them to find pictures
of naked
people. Maybe John will figure something out.
ps - if anyone's keeping track - I wasn't
fishing, I was looking at fish.
Big difference. Especially since I can't swim. Frankly, they
really
should make snorkels much longer.
Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2000
From: Strowbridge
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: Best disfunctional friendship since 'Bottom.'
When I first saw adds for this show one thought went through
my mind,
"What the fuck was that?" and then I promptly put it
out of my mind.
What a mistake! One Friday while flipping though the channels
I saw the
bloopers and instantly became a complete addict of the show...
Internet Slutts has got to be one of the funniest shows ever
made.
Is there any chance for merchandising in the near future?
C.S.Strowbridge
Steve replies,
Due to the high demand for merchandize
(at least 4 or 5 of you), we're
going to try to do something about it. John and I are going to
flip a coin
to see who gets stuck silk-screening T-shirts in his garage.
From: Martin Murphy
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: "This show has everything"
Date: Fri, 07 Jul 2000 22:34:28 -0400
Sweet merciful crap you guys are funny!
You are the oasis of genius in a desert of wanna-be's. Thank
you!
Not only is the writing smart and funny the damned puppeteering
is
excellent. Where can I buy a hat, T-shirt, etc.? Get your merchandise
team going!
From: Rob nowhere
To: wally@wallyandmurk.com
Subject: Hello, my name is Robert and i'm an internetsluttaholic
Date: Mon, 03 Jul 2000 08:04:07 NDT
I remember seeing the ads and thinking, hrm, looks like another
stupid
Canadian show, and then I caught the outtakes credits for an
ep and was
semi hooked, caught it again the next week, and for the last
2 weeks I haven't
missed a second, and next week the taping starts, God this show
is GOLD,
the mention of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the message board
was the
clincher (btw, if you want a few eps, email me, i'll gladly hook
you up
with some) the show has the mst3k charm, just instead of riffing
bad movies,
its net trash, absolute genius, any thoughts of T-shirts, or
god forbid, toys,
I would give anything for a "dick and a stick" to sit
on my desk.
Great show, thanks for renewing my faith in Canadian TV after
Tom Green
and anything with the words "cartoon" and "Canadian"
in it made me wonder if
there was anything intelligent left up here
Rob
May - June, 2001 - Jan
- Feb, 2001 -
Dec, 2000 - Nov, 2000
- Oct, 2000 - Sept,
2000 - Aug 2000 - July
2000 - June 2000 - May,
2000 - April, 2000
THE INTERNET SLUTTS MESSAGE BOARD 