INTERNET SLUTTS
is a bizarre, off-beat new comedy series about a couple of twisted
puppets whose lives revolve around the Internet.
Set in a skanky basement apartment,
Internet Slutts stars MURK, a drug-addled bicycle courier,
and his best friend WALLY, a pompous, opinionated fellah who
bears a striking resemblance to a two foot tall penis.
Savvy net browsers, Wally and Murk head
to the web whenever they need to answer a pressing question such
as "Is peeing on people really a highly erotic sex act or
just bad manners?" They surf when they're researching a
new hobby, looking for ways to scam some quick cash, or just
plain bored and in the mood to waste valuable time building a
virtual cow.
They
also leave the apartment occasionally - to get a brand new scrotal
Celtic tattoo, rent their favorite adult videos, or take a survey
of movie theatre urinal techniques.
18 brand new episodes began airing Friday,
April 21, 2000 at 11.30 (right after The Tom Green Show) on The
Comedy Network.
Each week the Internet Slutts website
will updated with hi-lights from shows, outtakes, and insider
stuff for our fans.
INTERNET SLUTTS LOG LINES
1.
The Fetish Show
written by Steven Westren, directed by John Gundy
When Murk's new girlfriend surprises
him with a bizarre sexual act, he and Wally go in search of fetish
sites so they can get clued-in.
(Some of the more unexpected fetishes
include bursting balloons, and men who enjoy wearing diapers.)
2. Wally's Sick Show
written & directed by Steven Westren
Wally is feeling under the weather, so
he and Murk try to diagnose and cure his ailment using self-help
web sites and Viagra.
(Some of the sites visited include one
devoted to xrays of things people have gone to emergency rooms
with stuck in their behinds, and another featuring celebrities
with strange skin ailments.)
3. This is Your Brain on
the Internet
written & directed by Steven Westren
Out of beer, Murk and Wally try to get
'drunk' on oddball websites.
(Lowlights include sites where you can
build a virtual cow; buy a product that allows sports fans to
pee down their legs into a bag; and see stuff that's been yanked
out of people's colons.)
4. Solving the Mystery of
Women
written & directed by Steven Westren
Wally and Murk, constantly confounded
by their failure to get laid , foolishly look to the Internet
in search of what it is that women really want.
(Highlights include a site devoted to
the art of peeing standing up and a women's magazine that promotes
"the art of making your man behave using the secrets of
professional dog trainers.")
5. Murk's New Thing
written by Steven Westren, directed by John Gundy.
Murk realizes he's not as hip as he once
was, and looks to the Internet to catch up on cool ways to mutilate
his body.
(Among the many bizarre possibilities,
we get a look at "possibly the least seen piercing in the
world," and a selection of branded human flesh.)
6. Murk's Cash Crisis
written & directed by Steven Westren
Tired of being dirt-poor, Murk tries
to strike it rich via the various money scams on the Internet.
(We discover there's cash to be made
by appearing in tickling videos, and selling sperm is more complicated
than it looks.)
7.
Wally's Narcissus
written & directed by Brian Stockton
Wally falls madly in love with himself,
and to cure him Murk takes him to the more narcissistic sites
on the web.
(We check out on-line plastic surgery
and dozens of hi-tech masturbation devices.)
8. Wally's New Hobby
written by Steven Westren, directed by John Gundy
After getting beaten up at a rave, Wally decides it's time to
take up a quiet hobby.
(Wally investigates several possibilities,
including trepanning - drilling holes in one's own head - and
collecting human bones.)
9. Wally's Muddled Muse
written & directed by Steven Westren
Wally tries to get in touch with his creative side by exploring
bizarre performance-art sites on the web.
(A favorite site features photos of naked
people with bags over their heads in some sort of oddball artistic
statement.)
10. Wally's Sex Tour
written & directed by Steven Westren
A sexually 'emancipated' Wally looks to the 'net to book a sex
tour.
(Highlights: an adult film star jamboree
and a website promoting a tour of Chinese drive-through brothels.)
11. Murk's Reeducation
written by Steven Westren, directed by John Gundy
Murk's parole officer won't date him
unless he completes his grade 10 (missed when he was drafted
by a pro snowboarding league.) Wally shows him how to get an
entire year's worth of education in one night via the 'net.
(More intriguing sites include an on-line
virtual frog dissection and a collection of 1940s dirty American
postcards.)
12. Death Takes a Deductible
Junket
written & directed by Brian Stockton
Wally is convinced he's contracted a
fatal disease and Murk indulges him by taking him to web sites
where he can write his will and otherwise prepare him for his
demise.
(Murk is most impressed by the visible
man project - images of a body thinly sliced into more than 1800
entertaining pieces.)
13. Amurkan Gigolo
written & directed by Steven Westren
Murk embarks on a career as a gigolo.
(Thanks to the web, Murk discovers there's
a 'secret art to thrusting,' and stocks up on some discounted
sex toys.)
14. Murk's Paranoia
written & directed by Steven Westren
Murk is convinced he's been abducted
by aliens and looks to the Internet for support from other whackos.
(See actual photos of a space-ship abducting
a cow!)
15. WallyFest
written & directed by Steven Westren
Wally surfs the net looking for a significant
'event' to attend.
(Options run the gamut from the Naked
Mile Run at the University of Michigan to the biker rally in
Sturgis, SD.)
16. If You Were Murk, Could
You Live With Yourself?
written & directed by Brian Stockton
Wally, upset with Murk's childish behaviour
in life and surfing, bets Murk he can't live with himself. Murk's
'self' shows up and all hell breaks loose.
(Undue attention is given to sites that will buy your hair, and
others devoted to photos of roadkill.)
17. MurkCam
written by Steven Westren, directed by Brian Stockton
After surfing to one too many web-cams,
Murk decides a wacky web-cam is his ticket to fame and fortune.
(They visit web-cams of a litter box,
a coffee maker and a hamster cage, among others.)
18. A Clockwork Wally
written & directed by Brian Stockton
In an attempt to help Wally kick his
caffeine habit, Murk builds a contraption to keep Wally's eyes
open while forcing him to surf the Internet.
(Included is The Simulator, a site which
recreates the screamingly dull working day of a fast food restaurant
worker.)
