WALLY'S PROFILE
| status: |
single, available |
| age: |
early thirties |
| religion: |
panagnostic |
| occupation: |
accountant |
| education: |
university (plus a childhood spent in several fine
boarding schools) |
| hobbies: |
reading, Italian sex films, crossword puzzles, finding
factual errors in the newspaper, drinking alone |
| favorite movie: |
I don't know its name, but it took place in Prague
and had Rocco Siffredi in it. |
| last book read: |
You and Your Prostate |
| favorite food: |
Anything Flemish |
| people say you remind them of: |
The part of John Dillinger they keep in a bottle |
| ideal woman: |
"She should be alive with deviant urges she can't
quite control..." |
|
describe a great date:
|
"She picks me up in her Porsche. We go to a happening
hot-spot, where we're seated at a table that's away from other
people - but where we can see everyone else and gossip about
them like fishwives. We dine lustily and laugh uproariously at
one another's clever banter (unless we're only seeing each other
for the great sex...in that case we just sit there and drink
until it's time to go home and boink). Back at her penthouse
apartment, we break out the circus equipment and rut like we're
making a training tape for european porn stars. The next morning
we have cream of wheat for breakfast and barely speak, crimson
with shame." |
|
Describe your last date:
|
"She
adored Gertrude Stein. I said I thought Gertrude Stein was a
no-talent fraud. She stabbed me with her fork and ordered the
most expensive item on the menu, and then didn't even touch it.
She tried to pay her half of the bill with a hand-drawn fifty
dollar bill, and then threatened me with a restraining order
when I offered to walk her home." |
